Monday, February 04, 2008

Oh no, please, allow me.

Let me share what kind of a Complete. Moron. I. Am.

So you all know how terribly excited I've been about my ebay purchases, right? Well, I bought this cute little number for a $5 best offer...5 bucks!! I was stoked, and I've been waiting (again, patiently) for it to arrive. Really cool seller, excellent stuff, honest about a broken zipper, but was sending a replacement zipper with the dress and everything!

So I come home from work today, and WHAMMO! There it is, sitting on my front porch. YIPPEE!!! So I get it inside, and start unwrapping...and unwrapping...and...uhm, unwrapping some more. Then I tried unwrapping it. And for some reason, my hands just would not cooperate, and that stupid little envelope wouldn't was stuck with some industrial strength sticky stuff or something.

So, being the brilliant woman that I am, I grab the nearest pair of scissor (God help us all), and think to myself, if I pull up on the cuts, I'll only get the is, after all, folded there's envelope underneath the envelope I'll be cutting.



I could easily try to blame my children, since they came running into the bunker as I was almost finishing. Then, my scissors betrayed me! And cut the fabric. CUT. THE. FABRIC. I was almost in tears. Now granted, I'm a freakin' emotional basketcase anyway (just ask BBM, he'll attest to it, I'm sure). But I just paid good money for this dress, this adorable, cutesy, make-me-feel-a-little-less-whale-ish dress, and then I go and ruin it. FortheloveofPete.

Luckily, the cut is right on the bottom, so I guess I'll try the dress on and see if it could be hemmed a little higher without me reminding anyone of Brittney Spears in any choice of her numerous panty scandals. If it's alright, then I'll hem it up, right above the cut.

Oh, who am I kidding?? I'll take it somewhere and get them to hem it up, right above the cut. I'll also have them install the new zipper. And my $5 find will become a $20-30 expense. I'd show a picture, but it's really that embarrassing. Ness has just informed me that Fashion Bug is having a ginormous sale right now (70% off, baby!!), so I may have to give up ebay altogether. Either that, or pay sellers extra to package their shipments in Boxes. Only. I can handle cardboard and tape. Keep the extra strength sticky stuff away from me.


barefoot gardener said...

So you hem it up a little (or have it hemmed), and even if it is too short to wear as a dress, you throw it on over some shorts (guaranteed to cover that ugly maternity pants fabric that is on all of them)! Up here in MN it is still fashionable to wear dresses over pants, though I don't know what the fashion police would say in your neck of the woods. See? Problem fixed.

barefoot gardener said...

Oh, and I have something for you over at my blog, you prego basketcase. ;)

Ness said...

Don't you dare pay someone to hem it and put that zipper in. Geez Louise, I'll meet you at the Greens and pick it up and do it myself. I used to make my own clothes and spending $$$ in getting it done will take away from the Junior/Juniorette fund. And yes, you can wear it over shorts or leggins or pants.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Totally cute dress - cut or no cut!! Perhaps thru the rest of your pregnancy, you should refrain from using scissors!


Lisa said...

I just found your blog courtesy of the Barefoot Gardener, and I must say this current post is one I could have easily written myself. That is soo something i would do. I just know I am going to enjoy reading your blog!