Counting down the days.

We've got a vacation planned for next month. A real vacation.

Since I've met Big Boss Man, we've gone places. in fact, I worked at the airport for a year before I met him, and I'd never, ever used my flight benefits...not once! But when he picked me up and we became a couple, I actually started going places with him. Working for an airline has some perks, one being flight benefits. This means that we arrive at the airport, try to get on a flight, (standby), and if there are no leftover, empty seats, we smile politely, try to shmooze the gate agents so they'll remember us, and sit and wait for the next flight to come along...then we try again. This makes for some really interesting, if not longer than planned, vacations (see The Great Denver Incident, as BBM calls it).

But this time, we're not flying standby. We've got real live tickets (okay, they're not alive, but we've still got 'em). Thanks to Grandpa and Grandma, we've got honest-to-God seat assignments and everything for our upcoming trip to Florida to spend lots of time with the Florida family. This means that we don't have to get all gussied up to step foot on the plane. This means that when they call our section, not only will we know it's our section, but we can get on right then too! And, we know we're sitting together!! Once we arrive in sunny Florida, I, for one, plan on spending lots of time sitting out on their back porch, sipping milk or diet sierra mist or whatever baby-approved drink makes its way to my hand at the moment. If I can find a cute (read: not too skimpy and not too teeny-bopper) maternity swimsuit, I might actually even venture over to the pool once in awhile.

All I know is that I'll be maxxin' and relaxin', chillin' with the family, and having a grand ol' time catching up and settling down. This is the calm before the storm, so to speak, as the time between getting back home and Junior Mint's arrival will fly by faster than time normally flies here on Whirlwind Lodge.

Now this also means that I'm {this} close to having my sex-of-the-baby-telling ultrasound. That is scheduled for April 11th, the Friday before we leave. I even took off work that day, because NOTHING will mess this appointment up. I'm going to stuff myself silly with water so they have the best view possible, and I've already been telling Junior Mint how important it is that he/she cooperates and lets the U/S tech see whatever they need to see. Now this means, of course, that I'll wake up late that morning, not have enough time to drink the required amounts of water, and the tech will be able to see that there is, in fact, a baby in there, and nothing else. Truly, that would be okay too...if we can't find out whether I'm carrying a boy Junior Mint or a girl Junior Mint, that'll be alright...as long as it's a healthy Junior Mint.

So, let the countdown begin. We've got a backwards calendar up on the wall, and each day The Boys alternate crossing one more day off so we know exactly how long we've got until we leave. We're down to 16 days now, and I'm practically trembling with excitement!! I'm hoping we're able to get online there so I can update with pictures of the family, but if we can't, then I'll have plenty of uploads to share once we get back!

Real and fake.

That's what we've had here for the past week...real issues and fake issues. If you're of the praying kind, lift one up for the real issues. The fake ones...not so much.

Let's see...the first thing I remember happening is a real one. A few weeks ago (maybe not that long, I can't remember), Big Boss Man had to break into the house because I was a couple hours away with one set of keys, and the other set was, well, inside the house. So he found a security risk and breached it, knocking over some of my jewelry in the process. I can't remember if it was light or dark at that time, since it was evening, but he picked it up and thought he got most of it.

Fast forward to last week when I'm looking for a necklace that is very, very dear to my heart. It was given to me by my mother the Christmas I was pregnant with Beanpole. So I've had it for over 9 years, and aside from my engagement ring, is the only piece of gold jewelry I'll ever wear. I went to put it on, and it's gone. GONE. I always keep it on top of my jewelry box, as I usually wear it often enough that hanging it up with the mess that is the rest of my necklaces just takes too much time. I looked high and low, near and far, and even went so far as to search outside that window on the ground below it. But it has been raining for what, 3 freakin weaks straight now? So the ground is really muddy and puddly out there, but still, I thought I'd be able to see it if it were out there.

Nothing. I can't find it anywhere.

So if I could get a thought or prayer that I find it, say, in my freezer or something, that would be wonderful. I don't know what I'll do if I can't find it.

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How about a fake one now? I'm pregnant. I think most of my readers know that either by being related to me in some way, or by all the little gadgets I have hung up all over the blog with babies wrapped in leaves or floating around in non-lifelike-looking uteruses (uteri?). Anywho, it's been awhile since I've been pregnant...like 7 years awhile. And I'll admit to not remembering how it all pans out. Much of it, I do remember, but not all. For example, I don't remember going to the bathroom every 15 minutes this early into the pregnancy. But I do. or at least I feel like I do. And after awhile, I started to wonder if it wasn't something else. So I called my OB, and the nurse I spoke with told me that it almost sounds like the very early stages of a UTI. Urinary tract infection. Anyone that's had one knows that they're nothing to wait on, and they're nothing to screw around with when you're pregnant. So I made the appointment.

Turns out (and I'm sure you're all dying to know this) that my pee is just fine, thankyouverymuch. She said it's probably just that my uterus is getting bigger now, but not big enough to fully spill over my bladder and pubic bone (lovely mental image, I know), making me feel the need to pee all the time. It shall pass. Give thanks for fake issues.

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Third and final issue? Dexter, the Attack Cat. This past Monday (?) he got into a fight with one of our neighbor's cats. BBM was home and checked him over for any obvious scratches, wounds, missing tufts of fur, etc. He found nothing. However, this Wednesday when I got off work, I arrived home to children and...no Dexter. I called for him around the house, searched in closets, under beds, even in That Room...no Dexter. I called for him outside, repeatedly, shook his treat bag, repeatedly, called for him again, repeatedly...no Dexter. BBM was out of town, so I emailed him, hoping that having him know what was going on would somehow calm my nerves. Around 10:30pm, I'm sitting in The Bunker, and I see Dexter walk in front of the door, heading from our bedroom in the direction of the living room. I cried, I was so happy to find him, but it was obvious something was wrong. He was moving very slowly, favoring one of his hind legs. By the time I got out to the living room, he'd made it up onto the back of the couch, which made me happy, but he was still not himself. He purred when I petted him though. So I picked him up and carried him back to the bedroom, made him his own little "bowl of blankets" that he could lay in, and he meowed, annoyed, when I supported his hind legs with my hands. I had no idea what was wrong with him.

He slept in that spot all night long, very unlike him, but finally got up the next morning after I got out of bed for work. He ate a little and layed on the floor, still moving too slowly. When I left for work, I layed him back in his blanket bowl, and BBM said he was still there (and remained there) when he got home from his trip.

We finally took him to the vet this evening, and it turns out that he had an abcess on one of his hind legs. The vet said the kind of wound it was usually happens by one cat biting while the other is running away. So our little Dexter got shaved, his wound "extended" (I don't really know, so don't ask), drained, and given a couple of antibiotic injections, along with a 10 days supply of pill antibiotics to be given at home. The poor thing howled the whole way there and the whole way home, but is in good spirits otherwise. Still not moving around much, but I can't imagine that I'd want to either after being through all that.

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So it's been a full week, and not for good reasons. I'd hoped to get a grand start on my list of things to do. However, sometime today, I lost that list. That was my Master List...it stayed in my smock pocket all day, as I think of things that need done when I can't do them. Have you ever lost your Master List? It's horrifying. Yes, I could start a new list, but how will I ever know for sure that I've remembered everything on the Master List? I won't know for sure, and it will slowly drive me insane...as if my chidren don't do that enough!!

****Author's edit #1: Another happening! Jacob lost another tooth last night! He's got two more that are loose, so if he's not careful, he'll soon have more empty spots than teeth!!****

****Author's edit #2: I've found the Master List!! w00t w00t!!! Now I have things to occupy The Boys with today (aside from the chores they already knew about!).****

Easter weekend.

So, everything is wonderful with our little Junior Mint. Of course, I don't go for the ultrasound until next month, but she listened to JM's heartbeat and felt around for the top of my uterus. Oddly enough, I'm carrying really high already, as she couldn't find JM's heartbeat at first...she was looking where it was supposed to be (down lower). You want to talk about a heart attack?? Then, oh sweet relief when she finally found it, about 2 inches higher than she said she would normally look for it at this stage. I don't remember hearing that with the boys, so chalk up another difference with this little one.

This weekend promises to be an eventful one. The Boys have been managing all sorts of nonsense and mayhem, and therefore will have to earn being able to go to my mom's house for Easter dinner. Tomorrow they will work their little fingers to the bone to get this fun day back. Fun for all.

And due to some happenings beyond our control, I'm not too sure that this will be the year that the garden starts. I am almost in tears as I write that, as I was very excited about finally getting something going, but these are pretty serious happenings. So I think I'll try to grow my tomatoes in containers, and I'm going to call on a newfound gardening buddy, Lisa to know if these seeds I just ordered will last until next year. If they won't, then I may have to figure out a way to do something with them. The last thing I want to do is start them and not be able to finish.

My sewing has been temporarily put on hold as well, as I just don't have the time to figure out how to learn what the heck I'm doing. Everything I read has more words I don't know the meaning of, and I don't want this to be an unhappy experience. So instead of diving right in (which I've been known to do in the past), I'm going to continue to read, read, read...taking it slow and really learning what's going on, then easing into it slowly as time allows.

There are so many things in my life that simply must be done now, and I'm truly the only one that can do them. These things must come before anything else, otherwise my home, house, and family will suffer. Hopefully it will not take too long to get a hold on these things, but I can't make any promises to anyone, and that's one of the things that bugs me the most about it...I like schedules...I like knowing what's going to happen and when it's happening. I've found that I must truly find some way to put some serious faith in God...faith I haven't given Him in a long time. I have trouble letting go of control of things, even if it is to the Big Man, but I have to. These things are making me crazy, and will continue to do so...something's got to give.

If you celebrate, may you have a very blessed Easter holiday. If you don't, I hope the weekend goes swimingly for you.

When schedules collide.

Well, let me tell you one thing...this child that's growing in my ever-expanding womb will be my future gardening buddy. Never in my life have I craved as many vegetables as I do now. Tonight for dinner, while everyone else had pigs in a blanket and a veggie, I had a bowl of green beans (or maybe two), a bowl of corn (or maybe two), and half a tomato. Granted, none of these were homegrown, as my garden is still just a dream (you should see Lake Okeechobee in our backyard from all the rain!)...but they were deliciouso nonetheless. And I have no one to blame but the uterus-stretching being inside of me. And now I'm snacking on Starburst-flavored jelly beans for dessert...life is good.

Now let me tell you another thing. How is it that Big Boss Man and I have completely separate days off, and yet we can schedule doctor's appointments (with two different doctors, no less) on the exact same day, one hour apart from each other, without realizing it??? Not to mention the fact that the doctor's offices are far, far away from each other, and we only have one vehicle! So, I don't know how this is going to work out tomorrow morning, but it will undoubtedly involve one or both of us sitting on our tushies waiting for the other. Oh yeah, and I have to work tomorrow afternoon, so we have to be back by 2pm. I don't know what we were thinking...oh wait...WE WEREN'T!!!

And while I'm at it...

Ness posted a comment that made me realize I haven't updated on me in awhile (normally I love talking about myself, lol). I'm feeling alright now, at the 15 week mark. I still get queasy every once in awhile, and I've still gained only one pound (although my belly is...well...a belly). My next appointment is this Wednesday, and I've already got the one after that scheduled because we'll be leaving for a much-needed vacation to Florida right around that time, and I'd like to have ultrasound pictures (and maybe a baby gender) to share with the in-laws!

I have, however, been a complete basketcase emotionally. I'm absolutely positive that my first two pregnancies were not like this. I may have had some ups and downs, some joys and fears, but this time it's about 1000 times worse. I think in the last 24 hours alone, I've gone from raging-bull angry, to sorry and regretful (is that a word?), to weepy for no reason. Now I'm just tired...too tired for any more emotions. I will say, however, that I've found a few new friends while hopping around some sewing blogs, and that (in addition to the friends already made) makes me happier than a lark.

I will update more on my garden plans and sewing expeditions soon, as I still have stuff to get to supply those two hobbies.

Been awhile, hasn't it?!?!?

Yes, quite awhile since I posted about...

A GIVEAWAY!!!!

So, without further ado, let me link you to a cool website with an even cooler giveaway. I'm going to make you click to see what the prize is, instead of telling you here. Give her traffic, people, give her traffic!!!

Old Red Barn Co.

So take a moment to go on over. Enter if you wish, or just take a gander around her site.

Someone be honest with me, please.

Is there an online site that's like, I don't know, sewing for dummies? I have a machine, I couldn't even tell you what kind it is. Someone gave it to me (which is odd since, I. don't. sew.), and I was going to either ebay it or donate it. However, I've recently become inspired by some blogs (namely Cynthia, Lisa, and Penny) that I'm actually considering lugging the old heavy thing out and trying to learn to do...something...on it (besides using it for a clothes rack, like the treadmill that we haven't gotten rid of yet). However, I don't have the time or money, really, to take a sewing class somewhere. My mom said she'd teach me, which will work, but I don't get over there as often as I'd like either.

So...I need a site...any site. I mean, one can find anything online, right? So maybe I should google "sewingfordummies.com" or something like that. I've found lots of sights that have patterns for stuff, but none that tell me actually {blush} how to thread a machine.

I guess that's my new purpose in life...to find a site that will make me go from a sewing-know-nothing to a sewing-know-it-all. And you're along for the ride! How exciting!


****Author's Edit: I actually hauled the thing out of my basement and dusted it off. It's a Singer Touch Tronic 2001 machine, and Singer wants $15 for a replacement manual!!! So I'd better sell something on ebay before I go spending money on this. Darn it!****

****Author's Edit #2: I'm a complete moron. I was downstairs flipping some laundry around, and discovered a box o' stuff that was gifted to me by the same woman that gave me the sewing machine. Lo and behold! The owner's manual, along with all kinds of stuff I didn't remember a sewing machine needed (like the speed controller...yeah, I'm a moron), plus a bunch of fabric that I'll have to go through tomorrow and wash and organize. Now I'm really excited!!****

WOOHOO! Tagged, baby!

I've been tagged! I've been tagged! Woohoo, I've been tagged!

Okay, so I'm just a tad bit excited, in case you couldn't tell. The last time I was tagged, it was a spiritual thing (I mean not like it moved me, but it consisted of spiritual questions) and I was an emotional basketcase, so there was no way on God's green one I was going to be able to do that! I was, luckily, relieved of my commitment to share. So even though this one isn't the first, it's the first I've been able to participate in, and I'm excited! Lisa over at Colors Outside the Lines has tagged me to tell 6 weird/exotic/downright strange things about me. Check out her Etsy Shop, and if anyone feels compelled to buy me this while you're there, I'd be forever indebted to you!!

Rules, because everything has them:

1. Link to the person that tagged you. (See above)
2. Post the rules on your blog. (Right here)
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself. (Check it out below)
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs. (More checkin' it out below)
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website. (Will do as soon as I figure out 6 people).

So. I actually had to wait a day or so on this, because (at least to me), I think I'm the normal one and y'all are a little wacked out! (Uhm, just kidding...really, I am).

1. I have double jointed knees and fingers. I can totally gross people out by touching my first finger and thumb on my left hand back to my wrist. I can also sit on the floor and lift my heels off the ground, but my knees (or the backs of them, I guess, so you don't think I really am a freakshow) are still touching the ground. I can get my heels about 6 inches off the ground.

2. I can watch the same movie over and over (and over...and over) again until I tire of it. I just got a copy of Working Girl a couple days ago, and I think I've watched it 4 times already.

3. My eyes move back and forth when I'm looking at someone. This one is from Big Boss Man. He claims it looks odd when I look directly at him because I move my eyes from one eye to the other. I think it's called making eye contact, but apparently, it make me weird.

4. I'm very anal about some things. I have to have the clothes in my closet hanging a certain way on the hanger, or the clothes in my dresser folded a certain way. Towels are the same way, and dishes in the dishwasher must go in certain places. Other things, not so much (dirty clothes are often left on the floor, for example).

5. I have an earring fetish. I love dangly earrings (although I have stopped wearing them to work, as they jingle on the phone that's usually pressed up to my ear). Turquoise is my favorite. Oh, and for a two-in-one freaky oddity, I don't wear gold. Only sterling silver. My engagement ring is gold (my late mother-in-law's anniversary ring), and it's the only thing I'll wear that's not silver (I don't wear it often because it's gotten snagged and bent quite a few times at work).

6. I've become a middle-of-the-day-er. I used to be quite the night owl, staying up until BBM would get home from work at 2am, sometimes later than that. Then I became unable to stay up that late, and started going to bed around midnight, sometimes 11pm. Now, I find it hard to stay up past 10pm, and sometimes by 9pm I'm ready to hit the sack. Through all of this, I've never gotten up any earlier or later...never become a morning person.

Well, there you have it. 6 completely useless weird pieces of information about moi. Aren't you glad you visited the blog today? Goodness, now I have to choose others. How will I ever do that?? 6 people...6 people...lemme think...

The Park Wife

I love Upstate

Ms. Elizabeth

Barefoot Gardener

Ness (although she's totally excused if she wants, because she just celebrated her hundredth post with 100 things about her!)

And because I really don't know if he'll do it or not, last but not least:

Big Boss Man

Whew! I did it. And in the meantime, I found a couple broken links on my blog. Whew again!

We have heat!!!

And more heat, and even more heat. Unfortunately, it's not the kind that comes along with sunshine and newly planted gardens and robins. It's the kind that comes from our furnace, which WILL NOT TURN OFF.

It's actually been happening for a couple weeks now, and when it first started, it would run, then make the loud BOOM like it does when it shuts off (the repair man eventually told me that was completely normal), but there was one problem: it wouldn't shut off. It would continue to run for a few minutes, sometimes doing its BOOM thing several times before actually shutting off.

We should've just called someone in then.

Then it got to the point where it would run constantly, but it would stay the same temperature in our home. Expensive? Probably (we haven't received that electric bill yet), but the repair man also assured me that it was in no way dangerous. Good to know.

Finally (and this is where we called the repair man that told me all the aforementioned things), it came on, stayed on unless we went downstairs and manually turned it off by the main power switch on the furnace, and it does get warm in here. So warm I'd wake up at night sweating (and sorry, I can't blame the pregnancy for that, at least not yet).

So we called and a nice man came out this morning and looked over our furnace (thank goodness Big Boss Man was here, so I didn't get jacked around...does that whole "women don't know what they're talking about when it comes to household things" bit still happen?). Apparently, it'll cost us about 40 bucks to get it fixed...some kind of sequencer needs replaced...simple. They'll order it and bring it back Monday morning to install.

He did mention, however, that really the whole system is just an old POS ready to fail at any moment (I added that last part in, but what else would an old POS system be ready to do??). He also told us that we could get a brand new system (furnace, vents, etc, the whole shebang) for the bargain price of $4000! Well color me happy, let me just get my checkbook! I guess that really is a great price for a whole new deal, but if I had that kind of money laying around, I probably would've called him to replace the thing already...not waited until he suggested it.

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So, it's finally the weekend, and am I glad it's here! BBM got a new schedule this month, which sucks because it has him working weekends, which sucks because this Sunday is not only his birthday, but Little Linebacker's birthday as well! I'm hoping he can work his "I'm on OT" magic and get off at least tomorrow night, but I've gotten no word from him yet. Here's hopin'!!

I also got word that the other Senior Certified Pharmacy Technician at work is leaving! Gave his two weeks notice yesterday. This means, with somewhat certainty, that I will get my pick of shifts when the time comes. See, my pharmacy manager, pharmacist, and another snior tech are all transferring to that store I told you about before (best friend leaving - WAAAAAAH!!). That leaves me and this other guy...he's the one who just gave his two weeks yesterday. So this is grand, since eventually our Junior Mint will come out of my belly, and having more day shifts (or earlier day shifts) will help tremendously with the whole babysitter thing. So yippee for that!

And finally...just about the best news of all, Heather (the best friend) had her baby!!!!! She had a beautiful baby boy this afternoon, and both mom and baby are doing tremendously. Hopefully (after having been up all night last night), she will be up for visitors tomorrow morning and I'll be able to go see the little one.

Laugh at me if you will...

...but don't call me stupid. This is what we experienced in the past 8 hours (remember, it was 78 degrees here yesterday):

Now some of these were taken by either Big Boss Man or Beanpole, so I'm not quite sure what they are:





And then there are some that really give the feel of how much snow we got (but not really because the camera just doesn't do it justice...a total of 10 inches here):





Now imagine us outside, wading through the snow on what we think is our sidewalk, trying to find the snow shovel that one of our blessed children left out there...somewhere...

And no, we never found it, but the truck was actually parked in the road (I couldn't see where the street ended and our yard began, so I'd rather stay in the street), so we had to do something. So, being the ever-prepared, always inventive and imaginative woman that I am, I grab the next best thing. My weapon of choice?



Yeah, that's right, a dustpan. Because when you've got to shovel, you've got shovel. So I shovel. Freakin' back-breaking work, or so I thought. I figured I'd get inside and warm up, and then all of a sudden, not be able to move due to my back seizing up and refusing to move. Even Big Boss Man came out, and with the assistance of our trusty leaf rake, "shoveled" the lower end of the driveway. The results of our efforts?



(And no, there are no plants in those planters).







A meager prize for all our hard work...but keep in mind, most of it was done with a dustpan.

So now, I sit. I've made dinner and have a steaming bowl of LaChoy Chicken Chow Mein sitting in front of me (my pregnancy craving of choice). And my arms feel like they may actually fall off my body. Really, I think if they fell off, it would be less painful than what they feel like when I try to move them. In fact, my arms are physically shaking just from the weight of the spoon I'm trying feably to feed myself with.

The kicker in all of this? Our neighbors. Our nice, friendly neighbors...3 of which I saw, and I'm sure they saw us (or heard us, as a few colorful explitives were muttered when standing up straight after 10 minutes of bending over). There driveways were actually shoveled already, some of them out into the street (since our 'hood is one of the last to get plowed, if it ever does). And not one of them offered their shovels...probably (as I told Little Linebacker and Beanpole) because they'd seen ours sitting in our front yard for the past two weeks, and they thought to themselves "Who leaves their snow shovel out in the yard when we're expecting 10 inches of snow?!?! MORONS."

Yeah??? Well I happen to think the rake and the dustpan did a mighty fine job, even if I can't move tomorrow morning.

I have to admit it.

My younger son didn't want to play the new video game because he kept saying his guitar was broken...the red button. So, I took that opportunity to play the game, just to prove that it's not really broken, but that it won't do what it's supposed to if you don't hit it just at the right time. And I have a confession to make:

The game was a BLAST to play!!!

I can see why kids (and adult) are so addicted to it. It has some kickin' music on it (although every time I've gotten in the van since purchasing this game, I've heard at least one of the songs from it on the radio - UGH). Plus, Little Linebacker eats, sleeps and poops all while singing one specific song from the game (I'll save you all from the earworm by not telling you which song...you can thank me later).

I also want to share something else with you. Since I completely dogged Big Boss Man a few days ago about his filing/housekeeping skills, I figured I'd give him props in this post. Yesterday, he had to work in the morning, just for a few hours, to test someone he'd been training for awhile now. So I'm whittling away at the mess while he's gone, but it wasn't near done when he got home, and he had friends coming over, as they do most Saturday afternoons, to jam for awhile...and our home, while "lived in", was nowhere near presentable for guests. So...

He. Helped. Me. Clean. Up.

And he did a damn good job too. And since we both worked at it, the most important rooms got done, and by actually keeping on top of things (and constant reminders to The Boys), it's actually stayed presentable. Granted, it hasn't been more than 24 hours yet, but still...this is extreme improvement. AND...every speck of clothing The Boys have except the clothes on their backs is either clean or in the washer or dryer right now!! This next week promises go-throughs of their closet to see what does and does not fit them anymore, and probably (and I use that word with hope) pack up most of their winter clothes (in easy-access totes, of course, since we're expecting snow tomorrow, after our 75 degree day today).

Ahhh...a productive weekend. It's so wondrous! And to think - I'm 13 weeks today, so 27 more weekends (give or take) to get everything else done!

Let's reminisce, shall we?

I recently discovered Facebook. I originally did it because Big Boss Man had joined and told me to do it too, that I'd get a lot more hits on my blog because of it. And since I'll do almost anything for hits on my blog, I joined. Then I found that members of my mother's group were also members, so I got friends (woohoo). Then a couple days ago, it happened.

A woman with whom I've been friends for a long time added me to her facebook friends. I was delighted, as she's hard to keep track of (her life is the definition of organized chaos, in my opinion, lol), and I like getting updates on where she is and what she's doing. From her profile, I found a few people I'd been friends with in high school, so I requested their friendship (again, since I'd lost contact with most of them). From their profiles, I found more people, and requested more friends, and so on. I can't believe, in the past 24 hours, how many people I've had contact with that I haven't talked to in 10+ years.

I can't say I was a popular girl in high school. I was known by many people, and I think I was liked by many people, but I didn't have really close friends. I had some that I bummed with more than others, but they already had the BFFs that they'd known since they were in utero, and I was okay with that. I'm a loner. I was also a band geek, which means I spent more time with my band director than with many of my peers. But hey, I was voted Most Musical my senior year, along with Mat Conway (speaking of a pal I found!). So if people knew me, it was because I was drum major for 3 of my 4 high school years, and I got up on a podium during every home football game ever played. This really was cool, because I had jock friends, cheerleader friends, music friends, art friends, theater friends, well, you get the idea.

But there are people that I treated badly, mainly in the transitions from either grade school to junior high, or junior high to high school. I don't think I ever, ever said anything mean right to someone's face...it wasn't that kind of bad treatment. Take for example, Beth. She was a great friend in grade school. We played at each other's homes (actually, I remember playing a lot more at her house than mine), and she was excellent at ballet, and loved it, truly. Well, I didn't find her on facebook, but I found her husband (let's hear it again for Mr. Mat!!!). He has pictures of them in his profile, and Beth is just as beautiful and smiley now as she was back when I was graced with her friendship. And let me say honestly, that I don't remember why I stopped being her friend. I remember not sitting by her on the bus anymore, but don't remember what preceded that. Maybe I was jealous...she was so comfortable with herself, plus she had the greatest family, and she was smart and pretty and great at ballet. I felt anything but those things in my life. So Beth, if you're reading, I'm sorry for not sitting by you on the bus anymore. Maybe if I'd stayed in the same seat, we'd still be BFFs today.

There are other people that I wish I was still friends with. Maybe facebook will be an open doorway back to building bonds I'd once had, but broken. And yes, I know that my life is right where it's supposed to be. But no one ever had too many friends, and I don't want to be remembered as the girl someone used to be friends with.