Saturday, March 01, 2008

Let's reminisce, shall we?

I recently discovered Facebook. I originally did it because Big Boss Man had joined and told me to do it too, that I'd get a lot more hits on my blog because of it. And since I'll do almost anything for hits on my blog, I joined. Then I found that members of my mother's group were also members, so I got friends (woohoo). Then a couple days ago, it happened.

A woman with whom I've been friends for a long time added me to her facebook friends. I was delighted, as she's hard to keep track of (her life is the definition of organized chaos, in my opinion, lol), and I like getting updates on where she is and what she's doing. From her profile, I found a few people I'd been friends with in high school, so I requested their friendship (again, since I'd lost contact with most of them). From their profiles, I found more people, and requested more friends, and so on. I can't believe, in the past 24 hours, how many people I've had contact with that I haven't talked to in 10+ years.

I can't say I was a popular girl in high school. I was known by many people, and I think I was liked by many people, but I didn't have really close friends. I had some that I bummed with more than others, but they already had the BFFs that they'd known since they were in utero, and I was okay with that. I'm a loner. I was also a band geek, which means I spent more time with my band director than with many of my peers. But hey, I was voted Most Musical my senior year, along with Mat Conway (speaking of a pal I found!). So if people knew me, it was because I was drum major for 3 of my 4 high school years, and I got up on a podium during every home football game ever played. This really was cool, because I had jock friends, cheerleader friends, music friends, art friends, theater friends, well, you get the idea.

But there are people that I treated badly, mainly in the transitions from either grade school to junior high, or junior high to high school. I don't think I ever, ever said anything mean right to someone's wasn't that kind of bad treatment. Take for example, Beth. She was a great friend in grade school. We played at each other's homes (actually, I remember playing a lot more at her house than mine), and she was excellent at ballet, and loved it, truly. Well, I didn't find her on facebook, but I found her husband (let's hear it again for Mr. Mat!!!). He has pictures of them in his profile, and Beth is just as beautiful and smiley now as she was back when I was graced with her friendship. And let me say honestly, that I don't remember why I stopped being her friend. I remember not sitting by her on the bus anymore, but don't remember what preceded that. Maybe I was jealous...she was so comfortable with herself, plus she had the greatest family, and she was smart and pretty and great at ballet. I felt anything but those things in my life. So Beth, if you're reading, I'm sorry for not sitting by you on the bus anymore. Maybe if I'd stayed in the same seat, we'd still be BFFs today.

There are other people that I wish I was still friends with. Maybe facebook will be an open doorway back to building bonds I'd once had, but broken. And yes, I know that my life is right where it's supposed to be. But no one ever had too many friends, and I don't want to be remembered as the girl someone used to be friends with.


Elizabeth said...

Minus the whole drum major/band thing you and I were a lot alike in school. Maybe that's why we're friends today. :)

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

You mean you HAD Thin Mints and didnt share either? Are you and Shmoopy in cahoots together?

Hallie :)