:) :(

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY:

~getting our car fixed, by my brother (brilliant with cars), with a used (but guaranteed!) part (yay cheap!!)
~that in T minus 75 minutes, I'll be TGIFing with the best of 'em
~a retirement party on Sunday of a pharmacist from my old store, the guy who really got the wheels turning concerning being a tech
~coming home to the sounds of "MOMMY!!!" through the open windows
~perfect timing (more specifically, His perfect timing)

THINGS THAT MAKE ME SAD:

~losing things




An Apology

Yesterday was a really rough day at work. I was very down last night because of it. After writing yesterday's post, I felt absolutely lifted in prayer (and thank you for so many kind and encouraging emails!!). Today was still tough. I'm struggling at work, not necessarily fitting in, but keeping up. Tonight, I read an email from Proverbs 31 Devotions:

"In other words, seeking to obey God in the midst of whatever circumstance I’m facing will position me to work in the flow of God’s power. I’ll still have to navigate the realities of my situation but I won’t be doing it with my strength."

WHOAH.

Does God know EXACTLY what I need to hear, and when I need to hear it??? Why am I fighting His power?

Lord, forgive me for being stubborn, and continually trying to fight against Your plan for me. Open my heart to Your perfect will, which I may not understand. Thank you, Heavenly Father, for the blessings you've given me, even though I may not recognize them as blessings right away. Thank you for every single chance you give me to glorify your name and to speak of your grace and mercy. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Stuck

First, I'd like to thank anyone who reads my blabbering, especially since the lack of pictures has to make it SO boring. Thank you for sticking with me through my computerless time.

Now. Down to the nitty gritty.

I'm struggling, and could use your prayers. When this...situation...first started, I was taking some time off work. I didn't quit, just took a leave to get our family moved and settled. When the move was delayed, I was picking up random shifts here and there, but spending most days at home. I LOVED staying with GinaGina, and being there when the boys got home from school. The kids all had better attitudes. But I missed Patrick terribly, as did the kids.

When the move was cancelled (again, that's another post), I called the district we now lived in, found a store in need of a senior technician, and went back to work about 33 hours a week. This is where I'm struggling. I miss my children. I miss taking care of the house, or at least having the energy to take care of it. I feel as though I'm being pulled in separate directions...like I'm all out of balance. At first, I thought God was telling me that my place really was at home. I prayed and prayed that if it was His will, to give me some insight as to some way I could contribute to our family income, but remain home with our children. Without going into too much detail, my going back to work was not a choice, it was a necessity. I've been back for over a month now, and I'm still feeling torn.

Please, brothers and sisters, pray for and with me that I can be content with the path God has my family and I on right now, and that I can (with strength that can only come from my Savior) find a way to continue to work outside the home, while keeping my house a home, a haven for those that dwell within its walls, a welcome reprieve from the stresses and worries of the physical world.

For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago. ~Ephesians 2:10

Last Minute

It's late. I should be in bed. Tomorrow is an early day for me, and after a couple drug-induced nights of sleep (I love you, Nyquil!), I'm at least feeling rested, although not healthier. That being said, in an effort to post most days (not including Sundays), I've got to write a quick something.

The Cards are beating the 'Stros, 12 to 6!!! GO CARDS!!

Patrick won't be home for dinner tomorrow, so I'm trying to decide what I should make for the kids and myself. Tuna casserole sounds lovely, since Patrick doesn't like it. The kids devour it, so that sounds like a plan.

I've got clothes in the dryer that I'm leaving there. Overnight. I'm not afraid to admit this to you, even after yesterday's laundry post. This is only because I almost left them in the washing machine. Baby steps.

The baby now asks me to sing to her every night, which I absolutely love to do. I sing Goodnight, Sweetheart, Goodnight (yes, just like Three Men and a Baby), which she now sings along with. It seems to settle her a bit.

Cardinals just hit another home run - 13 to 6. I wonder if it's safe for me to go to bed?

What's Your Housekeeping Nemesis?

I'm here to tell you, I'm not the best housekeeper in the world. I'm not even the second best housekeeper. My home is not filthy, by any means, but it is far from tidy (most days). And since I've gone back to work, it's gotten worse...or maybe it's the same, but I'm too tired when I get home to deal with anything but dinner and family time.

Since moving into my mother's home (we are sort of long-term, indefinite house sitters for right now, but that's another post), I've come to realize what a TREMENDOUS blessing a dishwasher is. Because we don't have one. And oh, how I miss it. But dishes are in a close race with the never-ending pile of laundry.

I have kids. And a husband. And a uniform for work. I'd like to point out here that although I DO change into more comfortable clothes when I get home, I'm often in them for only a few hours before bed, so I wear the same clothes a couple days in a row. So...I'm not the one making the laundry here, people!! :) It's just something I can't keep on top of. I haven't found a system that works (yet). I've tried a specific laundry day. I've tried doing one load a day (the OCD in me has a hard time with that one). I've tried separating clothes by color, and by person, since I wash everything but towels in cold anyway. Some ways have proven more effective than others, but I've not been completely successful with any certain way.

"In everything that he undertook in the service of God's temple and in obedience to the law and the commands, he sought his God and worked wholeheartedly. And so he prospered." 2 Chronicles 31:21

Laundry is one of the many duties God gave me when He made me wife and mother. By looking at the never-ending pile as such a burden, as something I MUST do, and "Woe is me that no one will turn their socks right-side out!", Ido not please the Lord. The job of making my husband and children ready for each day has been entrusted to me, and I should look upon it as a privilege to do such an important job! God smiles down on me when I work with a joyful heart, to His glory. And thankfully, even when I catch a glimpse of the bottom of the laundry basket, someone will always be happy to toss in another pair of socks for me to continue my work.

:) :(

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY:

~GinaGina calling apple cider "apple spider"
~freshly-vacuumed carpets
~another crockpot meal simmering (apparently Thursdays are my crockpot day...who knew?)
~hearing the kids "please", "thank you", and "God bless you" without being prompted
~college football on Saturday, and NFL on Sunday and Monday night

THINGS THAT MAKE ME SAD:

~forgetting to remove my mascara before bed (ooops!)
~washing sheets and blankets
~waiting for a package to arrive in the mail

Bread, Books, and Baseball

After a long day at work, I'm finally sitting on the couch, watching the St. Louis Cardinals play the New York Muts. I enjoy baseball, but more for the cold beer, jalapeño-topped nachos, and mustard-drenched hot dogs, all of which taste a thousand times better at the ballpark. The last baseball game I went to was shortly after Thomas (now 12) was born. Sadly, it's been awhile.

I had to stop by Wal-Mart on my way home because I was completely out of contact solution, and Thomas needed more self-sticking tape for his splint. Ours is a Super Wal-Mart, so of course I had to go to the bakery section. I got some Italian-topped bread, which I'm munching on now. I'm not sure what they put on this bread, but it's pretty good. I'd still prefer to make my own, but for store bought, it's not bad.

My before bed reading is At Home In Mitford, the first of the Mitford Years. I've read the entire series several times, and I can still read it again. The books are wonderful, and Mitford sounds like such a lovely town. Sometimes I completely lose myself in the books, in the characters and their stories. It is also where I read "Philippians 4:13, for Pete's sake!!". I think everyone, whether close to God or not, has heard this verse sometime in their life.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. ~Philippians 4:13

I know I've heard it. Hearing and believing are two totally different animals. For some reason though, reading it over and over in this series brought it to the forefront in my brain and in my heart, and it finally started to sink in. God's power is awe-inspiring, isn't it?? His miracles are ever-coming.


P.S. The Cardinals won the game!

Change of Heart

Last night I was going to write about being tired. being weary. exhaustion. I think I actually used to words "dead woman walking" when discussing it with my husband. After a week of vacation (and not really being used to back to working before then), yesterday I felt like I needed toothpicks to keep my eyes open.

Then I caught myself. I've been making an effort lately...a sincere effort, to stop complaining. to stop sweating the small stuff. to be content with the innumerable blessings I've been given.

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. ~Proverbs 17:22

Then, lo and behold, this morning I'm reading my daily email from At the Well, and something she wrote caught my eye.

"She didn't reflect the heavily-burdened spirit that one might expect from a life of self-sacrifice. Her face radiated joy."

Tiana writes of a woman, in her 80's, who has lived a full life, complete with husband, children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Here I am, in my 30's, with a husband and still young children...does my face radiate joy? Do I live truly live a life of self-sacrifice? I struggle with selfishness. I struggle with laziness. But I am trying. I am praying daily for peace. For patience. For understanding. For contentment.

No, Really This Time

When I wrote Never Ending, I was sort of hoping that the mere mention of it would bring all the excitement to a halt.

A girl can dream, right?

My younger daughter and I spent the morning at the walk-in clinic at my store. Yesterday afternoon, she fell asleep on my lap, and she's been really snotty and sneezy and watery-eyed for a couple days. Then last night, my throat started to feel like broken glass, and my ears (or rather, right below my ears) are swollen and painful. Since Gina gets ear infections fairly easily, we went in today and WHAM! Ear infection in her right ear. I, on the other hand, had nothing treatable, but she did tell me to come back in a couple days if I don't feel better, as strep can take a couple days. So I called in sick to work tonight in the hopes that an evening of relaxing will nip this.

Thomas also saw his new primary care doctor (please don't ever ask me how much I dislike insurance companies...unless you have a few days to spare). He has a non-displaced fracture, but he has full extension and little to no pain (unless his finger gets knocked around or something obvious). So he's to keep his finger splinted for 2 weeks. If he has no issues at that time, no additional appointments are needed. So no orthopedics unless there's a problem - yippee!!

"But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds," declares the Lord. ~Jeremiah 30:17

This is my meditation verse this week. Pray with me, for the healing of my family. And if you have physical struggles and would like me to pray for you, let me know.

Ahhhh, Life Without "normal" Internet Access

Since we have no home computer, we use our cell phones for most Internet access for now. If we need something printed or to view something that requires Flash, we head to the library down the street. A few days ago, however, I discovered mobile blogging, and registered my phone for the Lodge.

Yeah.

I've tried twice now, and neither post has shown up...ever. Sooooooo...

That means I can't post pictures. That means you can't see the MOUNDS of chocolate chip cookies we made this afternoon in our toasty warm kitchen. That means you can't smell or taste their sweetness.

Oh wait, you couldn't do that anyway. I'm sorry.

"But she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband." ~1 Corinthians 7:34

I actually wanted to make lime cooler cookies, as Patrick really likes limey stuff, but I was missing an ingredient (who knew one needed limes for Lime Coolers?!?). I will have to better prepare next time.

Never Ending

This past Friday, my older son jammed his right thumb playing football at his afterschool program. Some ice and an ibuprofen later, he was fine and back to his jovial pre-teen self for the weekend.

Fast forward to Tuesday.

He comes home again, jammed left pinky. Same swelling, same pain, same ability to bend (except for the limitations caused by a finger 3 times its normal size). So, same treatment. Except the swelling wouldn't go down, and the bruising was much more extensive.

Emergency room, here we come. Better safe than sorry, right? And it turns out, we probably should've taken him the first night it happened. He's got a small fracture in his hand, which isn't causing him much pain unless he bumps it or moves it. Thank God for that. And now he's unable to move it at all thanks to the splint they put on in the ER. Now we have an appointment with his pediatrician on Monday, who should refer him to an orthopedic doctor (the one the ER referred him to doesn't take our insurance. Go figure). I felt awful for not taking him that first night, but thankfully, I asked him to forgive me, which he did.

Our Heavenly Father does the same.

"I am so thankful His mercies are new every morning." ~Lamentations 3:22-23

Do you know how many times I've screwed up as a mommy? as a wife? as a friend? as a Christian? Do you know how many times I've needed His mercies?? Every single time, every single day, every single hour (and sadly, sometimes minute), He is there, offering me another chance, complete with all the love a child could ask for. Our God is an awesome God.

.

:) :(

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY:

~Cooler days in September
~Chili in the crock pot, making the whole house smell delectable
~Quilts
~College football
~Pine-scented candles

THINGS THAT MAKE ME SAD:

~Boxes sitting in the living room, greeting me when I walk in the door because I didn't put them away before
~Knowing I only have three more days off before having to go back to work

(An another LOVE: that my sad list is shorter than my happy list) :)