Lost heart.

Last night, my boys were watching a skateboarding competition that they'd recorded earlier. The kids were pretty good (all guys, which sort of disappointed me...I'd love to see a girl go out there and place right along with them). The prize money was outrageous, in my opinion. Anyway...

It wasn't over when bedtime crept up, so I had them stop it where it was, with the promise that they could finish watching tonight. Off to bed they went! This morning, I turned the tv on to have some noise while I emptied the dishwasher (a BAD habit, but a habit nonetheless), and it was turned to some station I'd never heard of before. There was a woman speaking (of course I can't remember her name). I was listening halfheartedly as I did the dishes, but I heard her read a Psalm which caught my ear. I didn't hear which Psalm it was specifically, so I googled it, and found it.

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13

And I can't explain to you how absolutely necessary that verse was for me today. Or in the past few days. Or the past few weeks. Really, even months. This show was on a station I'd never seen before, a show I'd never heard of, and the kind of evangelic-looking show that I would normally tune off, simply because I don't get into that sort of preaching. Normally. But I kept it on. This woman had the audience laughing, and she was dressed like I would be dressed up on a stage in front of hundreds of people, and she was talking like I would've talked up on a stage in front of hundreds of people. So I kept her on. And I heard that verse. And God spoke to me.

Hard times are just that - HARD. But like that woman said this morning - you've got to get in the habit of replying with one simple phrase when something bad comes your way and knocks you upside the head:

I can handle it.

Because guess what? You can. Our God won't ever give us anything we can't handle without His guidance. Without His help. Without His loving kindness. Without His forgiveness. Without His grace. And He gives us all that and more, over and over, every single minute of every single day. Isn't that inspiring? Doesn't that make you feel as though you could climb the tallest mountain?

My God does not set out to make me miserable. He wants me to call on Him, and to keep my heart open to all He has to give. I know I will see His goodness in this life.

What am I doing??

You want the answer to that? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!!

Okay, so the truth is, I'm not doing a thing. And I really haven't done a thing, all day long. Okay, earlier today I ran to the store because we were out of coffee creamer and milk, and Italian dressing for marinating the chicken my dear, sweet, grill-master husband is going to take for a ride on the Char-broil Express later today. And I watched a neighbor boy for a couple hours this morning while his parents ran an errand (you remember Jacob's friend Zachary from GinaGina's birthday party). But other than that, I've been a big lazy bum so far today.

I've also been busy (while GinaGina is napping) catching up on some email and blogs I follow. That being said, I have 2 complaints: 1) I really don't like it when I can't subscribe by email to a blog. I think the idea of following on google is good, but honestly, I hardly ever go to my google homepage. When I do, I have to sit for an inordinate amount of time reading all the blogs. That's not saying that I don't *want* to catch up on them! Some would say "Just pare down your blog roll, and that's that". I just can't do that. It's like going through your favorites on your computer. At least for me it is. And finally, 2) I also hate link loss. That's what I call it. I'm on a blog, see an interesting link, follow it, see another link, follow it, and before I know it, I'm 11 pages away from where I started, all filled with posts I want to continue reading, but I couldn't find them again if I tried! I try really hard to right click and open the link in a new tab, but sometimes I forget. I will say, however, that if these are the only 2 things I find myself complaining about today, I'm in excellent shape.

Anywho, back to my plans today. I will start laundry sometime, and I'd like to go to the library too. I stayed up entirely too late last night finishing the book I've been reading. I couldn't believe what time it was when I finally turned the last page of the book and checked the clock. I groaned, thinking that the kids simply wouldn't understand that mommy stayed up too late reading and would you please sleep in for just this once?? Although I was pleasantly surprised this morning when I woke at 8:30 with a start, listened for a few moments, heard nothing, and was able to drift back off to sleep for a little while longer.

Other than that, my day plans include watching college football with Patrick and the kids, grilled chicken, recipe copying and maybe some knitting. I know, I know - I lead a life of total excitement, but you know what? I love it. I wouldn't trade being here with my family for anything in the world.

This is the day that the Lord has made...

Here I sit, sipping the last of my coffee, listening to the cat meow incessantly, wondering when the forecasted rain (and subsequent cooler temperatures) will start outside, waiting for my internal "time to leave for work" bell to chime.

It's quiet here for now, peaceful. The boys have been sent off, Thomas to school, and Jacob to "Steppers" before school practice (Steppers, from what I understand, is sort of a dance troop for guys. We haven't seen a performance yet, as they haven't had one, but between this and Drum Line, Jacob's pretty psyched). GinaGina is sleeping soundly, as is my husband. The only sounds here are my fingers on the keyboard and the occasional noise from Dexter as he tries to balance on top of a box of litter, on top of an unused dresser, next to the basement crawl window, watching squirrels taunt him through the glass.

It's almost Friday, thank goodness, although this week has flown by (and I even had a shift on Monday!). At the same time, this week has FLOWN by, and I understand now how my children have grown so big and tall right before my eyes, in the blink of an eye.

We've got lots of work ahead of us, none of which I will post about now, but soon, my friends. Part of me wants to clean like mad this weekend, but the other part wants to sit and read, watch my children play outside, knit or crochet a little, or perhaps get out my long lost cross stitch project I need to finish for a Christmas present, maybe go to the park for a cookout. If it's cool out, I might even bake some bread. Sounds like I need to try to find a happy medium!

Happy almost Friday!